Isabella, The One I Knew
© Copyright 2019 by Joshua Olara
I felt a dull pleasurable numbers inside me: It pushed me into immobility. I did not move but leaned against a tree and watched the apparition. The girl was on the opposite bank, in a flat clearing hidden by small buses. I could not tell why the place reminded me so much of the sacred grove where long ago we used to collect firewood from. This place she was in sacred too. Isabella seemed to be bending over something. And I watched, held by the desire to possess her. I moved a little. I could now see her clearly. She was kneeling down in a praying posture. I was fascinated. A kind of holy light seemed to emanate from her body. The place would forever remain sacred to me. A few yards away from here, was the place where I had sat long ago when being called by my sister to go home?
It was the place where I was long ago beaten by my sister for collecting small fire woods.
When I realized that Isabella was praying, I was moved .It was very strange and as I watched I experienced a frightening sensation, as if she and I were together standing on an alter ready for sacrifice.
A grave atmosphere seemed to envelop the whole area and I wanted to go away. I would not see her. No, Not Now. All I wanted was to run away from this, for I could not face it.I was confronted with a might, a presence far beyond me.And I now felt her beyond me on the other side. I made as if to move away, unseen. But the dry crack of a broken twig betrayed me. She raised her head and saw me. I stood and looked at her .Isabella still knelt. Our eyes met and we did not utter a ward. Isabella was afraid of the intense excitement that posse her. Then I made as if to move again now feeling afraid of her as if the intense glare in her eyes now exercised over me on this alter of sacrifice. But her excitement was growing to a breaking point and she spoke to me, forcing her to be calm. A note of defiance and challenge was discernible in the voice. And I saw that she had been crying. Dont run away Joshua, she said.
Pleasant shock went through me and made my body hot with desire. She had actually called me, Joshua a name no other girl would call me with. Was there a mocking laughter in the voice? I could not tell. I waited for her patiently.
Where are you going? She asked me when she had crossed the small pool of water. I felt confused. The question wrung the truth out of me, I had wanted to go round and sit in a place where I could see birds in the forest hoping to see her.
I was just walking. I like the serene beauty of this country, the trees and the white bird.
I have come to collect firewood and I am now going back home she reciprocated.
I thought you would already be there A pause. Then she laughed a little nervously.
You see, I also like the breathtaking climate of Uganda; I like to see the birds, vegetable and many others. That hill is my favorite spot. Do you often come here?
Sometimes I do, but not very often I was Quiet
Another silence fell between us my whole body was on fire. My sister was born here,
She said abruptly she made me feel guilty.
You still remember where she was born,
How can I forget? I loved her,
Are you only two in your family?
Yes, now I am alone because we lost her.
I am also alone in my family. All my sisters are married.
Isabella felt pleased because of this exchange of confidence. I did not know what else to say.
You will be late for home I said. She did not move. Then quietly as if speaking to herself, She said I think there is something unspoken within you.
And my mind went back to that scene a few years back when I first saw her. And I remembered how beautiful she looked by then. And I also remembered the agony of befriending her, trying to make her get used to me.
I had always felt that Isabella had found something interesting about me, something that fill her soul and made her endure everything. Where do I stand? The yearning came back to me, expressing itself in slow but mounting waves of desire. And I fixed my eyes on her and for a moment thought I could see the night when I first fell in love with her appearance. I took a step towards Isabella and stood close to her. I took her right hand in mine and at once burst out, Isabella, I love you it was really a whisper. Isabella saw the light in my eyes and for a second she was afraid she could not believe her ears but it was good that I loved her. She wanted to fall into my arms still she feared. And now I knew she felt a painful snow come into her heart as if from nowhere. A tear dropped down her cheek. She did not try to hold it back and second fell down the right cheek. I pressed her hand and she returned the pressure so that I felt I would die. In a blind moment of passion. I took her into my arms and pressed her close to my breast while the tears from her eyes fell into my shoulder. Isabella did not resist but allows herself to be held by me, the only man who could save her from her misery. Neither spoke. We were one. I thought my quest was over.
Will you marry me? I whispered. Isabella rested on my tender breast. She wanted to say; yes she longed to say this. It would cost her nothing. Only her breath slowly she came to her senses. She disengaged herself from me. She was no longer crying.
Tell me, oh, tell me I implored hope and fear mixing together. There was another silence.
No she said at last, faintly
It cost her a lot of effort to whisper this. Because she knew she had to. It was impossible to marry me. Unless she rebelled. She did not want to rebel against her parents.
I felt hurt.
why dont you love?
I do, I do. Her heart said. But cant you see we cannot marry? Cant you? She said. My parents would not allow it. I cannot disobey them. They hate black races.
I was looking aside now and I could not see the tears that flowed freely down her face. If she continued, she would sob. It was better for us to part. But she wanted me and it was painful to her that she had to leave. Quickly she moved away before it was late. She left me standing in the same position, standing at the same place. It pains her more and she stood irresolutely. She knew she had to go.
Isabella! Isabella! Ho, she was gone. What had I wanted to tell her? I retraced my steps and went home .Seeing nothing, feeling nothing. I just walked. A dull pain inside my heart.
Since that day, the turquoise firmament turned grey. It was then I thought of how Isabella had tenderly hurted me, as the rain pondered upon the red roofed house I was writing my story. Tears from my eyes showed how much I missed her; it never crossed my mind that she would say this to me. Who would have thought the one I had valued and treasured in my heart would reject me this way? Leaving behind deep memories in my mind. The memories of her indelible calmness are still etched in my mind. That day when I found myself holding her close to me; I thought I had gone to a better place, Garnished with wings, hello harps and other thing. When she safely allowed my chest to rest on her breast, forcing her eyes to glisten with ease like that of Mary Magdalene But immediately when she disengaged herself, l was astonished. I was then left in the middle of nowhere. Making numerous potholes. From then, not a day that goes by I didnt think of Isabella. How I wished she was still with me. All the fun we spent together. Her laughter and the sheepish smile that she had always gave.
These moments, I cherish and hold so dear spent and ever lasting memories. Even though it is hard to believe the fact that she is not mine, my love still yearned for her. And it was from that day when I realized that life is full of destinies, we meet people, both valuable and important, but when destiny comes, they depart away from she was the one I knew. I immediately i inched slowly, retracing my previous path that led to my village. The world turned gray. I just walked, feeling nothing. Seeing nothing and sensing nothing but only the wounds she created in my heart.
story is dedicated to Isabella koloswiki, Joshuas best friend
who lives in Canada. Joshua olara is a young Uganda writer who is
currently leading the revolution of teens writing in Africa. He
always sit in isolations to face the bright world as he writes his
feelings, his greatest friends are pens and books, Isabella koloswiki
and Davina Mary Kevin who resides in London uk.Joshua always goes to
the beach and hotels and he do sit alone to write his story. Besides
writing inspiring stories, Joshua is a science student who aspires to
be an astronaut, being 19yrs old didnt limit him from doing
what he wants to do older people has a lens of viewing things
through varying experience which is not much common to young people
but still that does not make much difference he replied when
asked why he does his things at an age that is not preferably sound